ABSTRACT
Muslims are commanded to return the
wife’s mehr (dowry) with good grace,
unless she decides to defer it of her own
free will. Talaq is permissible in the Qur
) an
only if there is a complete breakdown of
marriage. Parting of ways must be grace-
ful, and utmost care is taken to inflict no
suffering on the woman. The common
practice of impulsively uttering talaq
thrice all at once, or writing talaq three
times on a postcard, or getting a qadi to
write it down, is often criticized as against
the spirit and letter of the Qur ) an. Just
as the man is permitted talaq, so also is
the woman permitted to take khula. In
this matter, as in all others, women and
men have equal rights in Islam. In sura
al-Baqara (2.228) women are said to
have the same rights over men as men
have over women. In 2.229 a woman is
permitted to end a difficult married life
by taking khula (initiating divorce),
although she has to go through the qadi,
unlike the man who does not have to
fulfil this condition. This condition was
stipulated, once again, to protect the
woman because of the possibility of a
patriarchal backlash. If the woman for
good reasons takes khula, and if she for-
feits part of her mehr of her own free
will, it is permissible. Yet many women
are obliged to act as though a virtuous
wife has to forfeit her mehr altogether.
But the clear instruction in Islam is that
even if a wife takes divorce, she is entitled
to mehr, although she may of her own
free will give up part of it as a bargain
for her freedom. The intervention of a
qadi is then desirable in protecting her
rights to control what is rightfully hers
in the case of a divorce that she initiates.
See also: marriage
