The heart of my coaching with Bob could be summarized by the quote that opens this chapter. He had to develop new relationships in order to be promoted. The first relationship that had to be addressed was, of course, Bob’s relationship with himself. He had to discover the degree of congruence between the relationship he was having with himself and the relationship others were having with him at work. Lack of congruence here would lead him either to feelings of grandiosity in which he felt superior to everyone and beyond the power of their opinion to affect him, or to feelings that he was inept and unworthy and that anything positive said to him was just people trying to be nice. Clearly, either possibility would not lead to what we were intending in Bob’s coaching.