ABSTRACT
I spent eight years of my life engaged in a compulsive dieting cycle. From the ages of twelve to twenty, it dominated my existence. Everything I ate was a source of worry and guilt. How much I ate, what kind of food it was, where and when I ate it, who I ate with (or didn't eat with)—all of these were crucial decisions that I agonized over daily. I took laxatives and I tried to make myself vomit (unsuccessfully, thank goodness). I would binge and then starve myself as punishment. I hated my body. I felt miserable in my body. There was no support, especially in my early teenage years, for accepting my body the way it was. My family encouraged me to lose weight. They felt I would be “prettier" if I lost weight and that “boys would like me more." It wasn't until later that I came to realize that I didn't want the boys to like me more! Everyone around me was supportive of what I now see as a very unhealthy cycle of dieting.
