Problems Raised by an Annoying Parishioner, on a Wet Sunday Afternoon, at the Vicar's Tea Party

PARISHIONER

[Problem 82] If God made the universe, where was He before he made it?

VICAR

Goodness! That is a wonderful question. Of course, God does not need the universe for Himself, you see.

PARISHIONER

If he doesn’t need a universe to be somewhere, why bother making it?

VICAR

Ah …. Another wonderful question. God made our universe out of love, out of goodness. It is His gift ….

PARISHIONER

[Problem 83] If he made the universe out of love for life and goodness, then why is it so rotten?

VICAR

Well … you see … [mumble] sometimes seems that way … [mumble] couldn’t make it completely beautiful … [coughs] couldn’t have every creature happy and content [mumble, mumble] ….

PARISHIONER

Excuse me! It doesn’t just seem that way! Last week the car broke down on the way to the match! Yesterday the dog bit the milkman! Now the dentist says I’ve got to have a root filling and won’t be able to even speak for a week!

VICAR

Well … you see … [mumble, mumble] … mysterious ways ….

PARISHIONER

Anyway, if God’s all powerful, how come the world’s not better?