chapter  6
Empathy for Self and Responsibility for Change
Pages 13

Carlo thought that he was a failure. He felt guilty for the way he had avoided his wife over many years. He had overinvested himself in his work, left her alone on weekends and holidays, and rarely talked to her about her interests or his. She felt lonely and neglected, and she had become increasingly depressed in recent months. The more pain he saw in her eyes, the more shame he felt. He believed that her pain was his fault. However, he could not talk with his wife about it when he felt this badly. It was as if the manner in which Carlo realized the problem made the solution more diffi - cult. He was immobilized by shame. His guilt about the pain he had brought his wife caused him to avoid her even more. He could not face himself, thinking that he was the kind of man who could cause such pain.