ABSTRACT
In Couple Therapy With Gay Men (Greenan & Tunnell, 2003), a key theme was that given how society marginalizes same-sex couples, who, in turn, internalize their “inferior” status, successful treatment must include the therapist’s validating the legitimacy of the relationship. As a result of the recent extraordinary societal changes, the issue of legitimacy has shied somewhat in the therapy room from the couple dealing with the stress of marginalization and invisibility, to taking the relationship more seriously and deepening their emotional commitment. Still, society’s increased recognition of same-sex relationships (a) does not banish overnight the eects of internalized homophobia and male gender-role socialization that wreck havoc on achieving intimate connections between gay men (T. W. Johnson & Keren, 1996; Mohr, 1999), and (b) brings entirely new challenges: How comfortable are we in being more fully out of the closet? For many gay couples, there was a certain adventure and devious delight in being “alternative” (Warner, 1999). If we can legally marry, will we do so (Belluck, 2003; Rothblum, 2005)? If we make an “ocial” public commitment, do we adopt the scripts of traditional marriage, particularly the vow of “forsaking all others”? Now that we can more easily have children, do we want to? How do we raise them with two dads and no mom? Who are our role models? At the same time, there is a rise of interest in “polyamorous relationships,” in which individuals are sexually and emotionally engaged with multiple partners (Bettinger, 2005; Nelson, 2010).
