ABSTRACT
In the first edition of this book, the interactions of the narcissistic/ borderline couple were described as a “dance,” a choreography of movements comprised of primitive defenses and regressive behaviors that go back and forth, round and round, without ever reaching any conflict resolution (Lachkar, 1984, 1985, 1992, 1997). Because of such primitive defenses as splitting, projective identification, and magical thinking, the narcissistic/ borderline partners do not learn from experience; therefore, they repeat the same painful acts again and again. Furthermore, the dialectic tensions between the partners contribute to these vacillations. On the one hand, there is the desire for an intimate connection, and, on the other, there are the unconscious forces that compel the partners to destroy or sabotage the intimate love bond (see Case 4 in chapter 9).
