ABSTRACT
As Madanes (1990)1 notes, family injustice invokes the basic human need to repent and forgive. Regardless of the nature of the injustice, only the most sociopathic offenders are beyond repentance, and even some of them may be reattached to it for brief periods in treatment. Likewise, if they have not been redirected by powerful others, most victims yearn to forgive. The need for repentance in the restoration of family justice led Madanes to develop her renowned apology process, first for use with adolescent and adult sex offenders and later with a wide range of family injustices. Not surprisingly, given the intrapsychic treatment slant of the times, these strategies were met with controversy. The idea of a victim, especially one who had been sexually abused, forgiving her offender seemed at best outside the realm of therapy. At worst it was seen as wrong-headed and traumatizing, as well as a de facto softening of the hard line against offenders. But none of this was what Madanes had proposed or implemented, and those who practiced the approach were genuinely surprised by this criticism. In fact, the emphasis on forgiveness was actually superimposed by the model’s opponents on a technique that focused squarely on offender responsibility and against pressuring the victim to do anything, least of all forgive the offense. In response, proponents found themselves defensively distanced even from the idea of forgiveness. While necessary at the time, this tactical position prevented full exploration of the way in which an invitation to forgiveness does not exonerate the offender, but releases the victim from a life of perpetual connection to the offense. By the mid-1990s the idea of apology was becoming more
widely accepted and integrated into other approaches at the same time the legal community began experimenting with restorative justice models. In this new light, we felt ourselves released to explore the possibility of forgiveness and to modify our thinking and practice within the context of treating family injustice.
