ABSTRACT
A man does not give out cigars when he becomes a stepfather. Apparently not knowing whether congratulations or condolences are in order, the greeting card companies, holiday creators, and calendar manufacturers have not seen fit to invent Stepfather’s Day. Even when the media covers the topic of stepfamilies, more attention is generally given to the stepmothers than to the stepfathers. In fact, our society has no celebration or institutionalized ritual to mark this new status. The stepfather enters this new realm silently and immediately after the marriage vows are exchanged. The children may not even be present. However, if all are fortunate, they will be there, assuming that custody schedules allow it and that the relationships are healthy enough for all to tolerate witnessing this union. So, in this inauspicious way, a new family is formed, de facto. This beginning does not do justice to what has become one of the predominant constellations in American family life. And the stepfather is a crucial but enigmatic member of this reconstituted family. With this imbalance in mind, I am happy to have the opportunity to contribute to the growing literature about stepfathers. It is a topic of both personal and professional interest.
