ABSTRACT
There are times when the dysfunction of a family is quite severe and the relational damage it has caused is profound and humbling. As therapists, we have had those experiences of dealing with parents who are physically abusive to their children, only to be shown the scars and be told the horrifying stories of how these parents, as children, were physically abused even more harshly by their own parents. We have seen the rage of adult sons or daughters who were vulnerable as children and were forced to have incestuous relations with a parent for years, sometimes in the presence of the other parent. We have witnessed the insidious damage that invades family relationships as individuals continue drug and alcohol addictions while their families are forced to sever interactions. Perhaps most profound and damaging to the family is when an individual member gives up on the reality of relating altogether and commits a horrible homicide or suicide. But some of the most shocking damage that we have seen as therapists has been with dysfunctional aging families that will at times curse one another for the lack of mutual care and concern and, at the same time, openly wish for one another's death so they can be “free from the emotional burden.”
