ABSTRACT
The bonds of marriage are in many ways adult re-creations of the bonds between baby and caretaker. All marriages bring out infantile feelings. In troubled marriages, both the need to express repressed infantile feelings and the awareness that such expression is likely to result in harmful interactions cause regression and defensive reactions. In marriages hampered by narcissistic and borderline defenses, disagreements serve as opportunities to vent repressed infantile rage and vengefulness in the form of blame. The manifest issues serve as justification for primitive defensive operations that bring to the forefront fear of abandonment, of disappointment, and of not being cared for. Demands and a sense of entitlement pervade vulnerable marriages because expectations can never be fulfilled.
