Disillusion and hating
Although it had been impossible to escape from the idea that these monstrous creatures could in some way represent parts of myself, there were still many questions to be asked about them. For instance, where had they really come from? Had I, in fact, felt like that once even if there was no conscious knowledge of it? Or was there being no knowledge of the feelings the very reason for their appearing in this monstrous form? And was I still secretly harbouring such monsters; because they had been denied were they still lurking somewhere, remote and separate and therefore unmodified by common sense and experience? And if so, what was their cause, was it just ‘original sin’, an inborn inheritance of primitive aggressiveness? Or were they only due to the unnecessary frustration of a too rigidly ‘moral’ upbringing and restraint of instinctive freedom? I knew some people believed this last theory, they believed that man was born ‘good’ and that it was only unnecessary frustrating authority that made him ‘bad’. In order to investigate such questions I looked at some more of the drawings, and found that many of them certainly did deal with the theme of rebellion against an imposed authority and imagined destruction of it.