chapter  10
10 Pages

Shame

Concerns with self-evaluation and self-feelings are central to many psychological therapies but few locate their therapy within the shame literature and science of self-conscious emotionÐabout which we now know a fair amount (Tracy, Robins, & Tangney, 2007). Understanding and working with the complexities of shame plays a major role in CFT. The CFT model of shame (see Figure 5) is linked to the fact that humans have evolved to want to create positive feelings about the self in the mind of others (see Gilbert, 2007c). It suggests that:

1 We are all born with the need to connect to other minds and feel cared for. This blossoms into desires to socially connect in one's group; to ®nd acceptance and social belonging to facilitate helpful relationships; to be wanted, appreciated and valued (Gilbert, 1989; Hrdy, 2009). If we achieve this then our worlds are much safer (and our threat systems settle) in contrast to not being valued or wanted, rejected or struggling alone. Helpful relationships are physiologically regulating (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).