chapter  3
Pages 18

The self's earliest experience of itself will therefore be partly dependent on the quality of the libidinal cathexis of the body by those closest to the baby. The quality of the (m)other's desire, and her capacity to enjoy the baby's body, shapes the subjective experience of being-in-a-body, and hence of the self's desirability. Crucially, if all goes relatively well, the early exchanges between (m)other and baby install internally a benign observer ± an other who sees us for who we are, `warts 'n' all', and still loves us. The saying `love is blind' is then perhaps misleading: love is perception coupled with acceptance of what is seen.