ABSTRACT
Jay and I went back and forth over how he could get his recovery program established. We would have intensive and charged sessions about the struggles of his sobriety, the kids, his old friends who were still using but he still associated with, his need to work and make money, and the shame he carried over burdening his mom and family. The greatest of all issues for Jay was his longtime relationship with his female partner who represented the love of his life and his former using partner. These issues would present themselves at every session over the course of a week. Jay and I met about four times a week, and by Friday I was emotionally and physically spent. Jay would fight hard to hold on to his past and his addictive behaviors, and I would fight equally hard to intervene into his pattern of addiction, recognizing his triggers for relapse, and working to have him get 30 days clean (I get emotional and a bit stressed reliving this experience). The dynamics between Jay and me carried on for nine months. Over the course of nine months Jay would experience problems with maintaining his account with the agency, which would put his treatment in jeopardy. I would find myself trying to advocate for him with the agency’s administration to keep him enrolled and receiving his methadone treatment but found that difficult when his urinalysis reports showed him still actively using. Our sessions were heated and emotionally charged when we would discuss his recovery and how his family life would provoke him to make decisions about his sobriety that would put his work and mine in jeopardy of being unsuccessful. A key example was trying to get Jay to see that regularly going through parts of a neighboring major city that was known for drugs is dangerous for him, his children, and his wife. Jay was stuck on the fact that
he was trying to help “friends” of his who needed help and were there for him in the past. Our sessions went back and forth over issues like this every week.
