ABSTRACT
Magic Mirror on the Wall, who is the Fairest one of all? (Popular quote from Snow White by the Brothers Grimm)
Introduction
Feedback is everywhere in life – we get it from people, the tasks that we do, and in fairytales even from a magic mirror. But to what extent do we understand the impact of feedback on relationships? Consider the question above, asked by the Queen in the tale Snow White to ascertain whether she is the most beautiful woman in her kingdom. What the Queen wants to hear from the magic mirror is the reply ‘Thou, O Queen, art the fairest of all’. However, as the young Snow White grows into a rival beauty, the magic mirror changes its answer to an honest ‘O Lady Queen, though fair ye be, Snow-White is fairer far to see’. Some of us may remember the impact of this feedback, as the Queen subsequently tries to assassinate Snow White in a number of ways. We can surmise that a number of emotions are responsible for this rather drastic reaction, such as anger, disappointment and jealousy. While the Queen took to drastic measures that we are unlikely to encounter in the real world in coaching, the example nevertheless illustrates the potential consequences of negative and unexpected feedback. In many ways, feedback is about holding up a mirror and saying ‘this is what you do/what you are like in the
eyes of others’. A skilful coach may achieve this through the processing of existing information, questioning, challenging, set tasks and the evaluation of any processes, as well as conveying factual knowledge and other information. However, these basic processes need to be effective in the context of the coaching relationship to result in desired outcomes.
