ABSTRACT
Sometimes intimacy seems like a promised land where couples are bound together in mutual understanding, solidarity and friendship. Yet a need to escape the myth of mutuality is more and more typical of the interwoven desires and anxieties of contemporary women and men. Simon is recently divorced, a college teacher, just turned 40, yet still in the grip of ambivalence and frustration about the direction of his life:
It’s an enormous relief, you know, getting divorced, admitting my mistakes with Lisa and acknowledging how long I’ve lived with a certain amount of guilt and regret. It’s tremendously freeing, and exciting. That’s what it feels like. But if I’m honest I also feel a little fearful. Though I was sexually bored with Lisa, she was a good friend, and she did make me feel secure. Now, there’s no safety net.
