ABSTRACT
Ephesians 2:8, 9 (NIV) There are many fantasies about marriage. The magic of the wedding
ceremony speaks to the powerful expectations that each partner has: expectations that are perhaps so profound that they cannot even be put into words. These expectations, or what might be called marital myths, may include fantasies for a type of oneness (“the two shall become one”) where two marital partners have such a close relationship they share everything in common and become “soul mates.” Another common marital myth suggests that in marriage there is the potential for being completed by one’s spouse (“she’s my better half”). In this scenario what is missing in us we find in our partner, such as the carefree woman marrying the overresponsible man, or the introvert marrying the extrovert. Still another myth suggests the potential that
marriage has for healing of old injuries and wounds created early in life in our original families; someone who will make up for the deprivations and disappointments of childhood. Some couples unconsciously combine all of these myths expecting a perfect life together. Saying “I do” is a way of assenting to some combination of these myths that hopefully will lead to paradise. Unfortunately these powerful expectations or marital myths are usually unconscious, and are rarely verbalized, let alone carefully negotiated by both partners before entering into marriage.
