ABSTRACT

Vince was anxious about doing a presentation, saying: `It really makes me anxious and nervous to do the presentation in front of so many people, including the president of the company from the USA.' Juan was angry about the poor service at a restaurant. Mary was worried about a performance appraisal with her boss. These three examples show people tend to believe that external events are the cause of their emotional upset (e.g. anxiety, anger and worry), as in the presentation in the case of Vince, poor service in Juan's case, and appraisal in Mary's. It is sad that people believe that their feelings or moods are outside their control, and that they are at the mercy of external forces. If this were the case, one would expect that everybody would feel anxious about doing a presentation, be angry about poor service, and worried about an appraisal. Quite the opposite: not everybody would think exactly the same in these circumstances because people are different. They are different in their physical make-up, their personalities and their life experiences. With Vince, his thinking was: `If I don't do the presentation well, people will think that I am not up to the job. There will be no future for me in the company. It is terrible. I am a failure.' Another person in the same circumstances could well have a different perspective: `Well, it is going to be a challenge as well as an opportunity. I am going to enjoy it, to give it my best shot and to learn from the feedback. After all, I know my stuff well.' We can see what a difference different ways of thinking about the same event can make to the mood or feelings.