ABSTRACT
Jeremy was a keen table tennis player and the best at his club until another man joined who was better than he was. He became preoccupied with his own performance and his need to be better. He was intensely self-critical if his performance was not better than that of the new member. He no longer enjoyed the game because he was not the best. In the end he stopped going to the club. Sara studied hard for her examinations and got reasonable grades but not all top marks. She felt guilty and ashamed for letting people down and wished that she could have tried harder even though she had studied many hours a day. Peter was anxious about information technology being increasingly used in the company and in his job. Although he was very competent in his job, the thought of not being able to understand IT and use it competently made him anxious and tense, thereby actively avoiding having anything to do with it. His thoughts were, `I will never be able to be good at it; I would never be as good as those young people; people would think that I am not as good as they thought I was; I am a failure/stupid.' He was angry that the company expected too much of him and did not give him enough support in his work. He complained that he did not have time to learn this `new' thing and that he had too much to do. These examples illustrate features of individuals needing to be perfect, or of perfectionist styles in individuals. These people probably have problems with low self-esteem, which can become a driving force for perfectionism and competitiveness. These people need to be seen as special, unique and/or superior in order to feel good about themselves as people. Their self-worth seems to be conditional on their being able to be perfect or to be as good as, if not better than, the person they are being compared to. As a result, their mood ¯uctuates up and down and is subject to external forces. For example, when things are going well and/or people are nice and supportive, they feel good. Otherwise, they feel low, down, anxious, worried, frustrated and depressed. Some clients believe that they do not have control over their mood because there is something wrong with their brain (e.g. chemical imbalances). They may use medication to help them to feel better, which obviously is not a long-term solution. The problem partly lies with the need to be perfect and competitive.
