ABSTRACT
Being self-critical is usually seen as a tool to promote development and growth. The idea is that you have to be critical of yourself for making mistakes in order to learn and to make progress. Many cultures see selfcriticism as a good and helpful thing. People always say: `Talking about yourself and your achievements gives an impression that you are boasting and are big-headed. Being modest is the key.' Parents want their children to keep their feet ®rmly on the ground and do not want them to get too bigheaded and become complacent. Some children are encouraged to work harder, achieve more and behave better, but they often receive little or no praise or recognition for successes or efforts. Adults (e.g. parents, teachers) tend to place more emphasis on pointing out faults to help learning, instead of building on what children have done right. One client said:
My father never gave me any praise or recognition for working hard or doing well. He often pointed out what I did wrong, although it was not intended to be critical. But I somehow perceived it as such, which made me feel stupid and not good enough and that I should have tried harder and better. I became a perfectionist and beat myself up a lot for little things. I compare myself with others, such as my sister, my brother and friends. Jealousy and envy seem to be the features in my character.
