Models of Forgiveness
One of the questions I am most frequently asked is, "How do I know if I have really forgiven someone?" Usually, that question is motivated when a person notices he or she is acting inconsistently.
How Can We Know? For example, Diana might have worked through forgiving her ex-spouse and believes herself to have completely gotten over the difficulties that resulted in the divorce. Years later, she sees her ex-spouse and negative feelings flood her. She is angry, afraid, and sad. "I thought I'd forgiven him, " she thinks, "but obviously I haven't. "