ABSTRACT
In reading drafts of this book, friends pointed out a striking paradox. They know that personally and clinically we have a promarriage, pro-family bias. They also know we are respectful of divorced people, second marriages, stepfamilies, and individual differences. The paradox is that few writers or clinicians are both pro-marriage and pro-divorce. What ties this together is our advocacy of relationships that enhance self-esteem and psychological well-being. Ideally, a marriage meets needs for intimacy and security. A viable marital bond of respect, trust, and intimacy deserves to be cherished and nurtured. A marriage that subverts self-esteem is destructive, and the decision to divorce is healthy. The fact that the majority of people remarry is a sign they have not given up on marriage but on that fatally flawed marriage.
