ABSTRACT
That night . . . when Ishida told me that in order for us to start over together, we had to part with each other once, the desire to kill him came back, the desire which I first conceived when I had been away from Ishida from May 7 to 10. I thought if I were to leave him now, his wife would take care of his wounded neck just like I have done and I would not be able to see him for months, which I did not think I would bear, considering that a separation for only a couple of days nearly killed me. By whatever means I wanted to retain him away from his family . . . Since Ishida had just stabilized his business, I did not think that he would agree to elope with me or commit joint suicide. So, I decided: after all there was only one way to have him completely-I have to kill him.1
