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BOUILLE call her ‘ce torchon d’Adèle’.) 5 Coup de torchon: a ‘Clean sweep’, drastic change (by a ‘newbroom’ character who intends to sweep very clean). b (pol.): ‘Swoop’, dragnet operation. c ‘Punch-up’, fight. Ils se sont filé un sacré coup de torchon en sortant du notaire: They got to blows after the reading of the will. d (also: coup de tabac): ‘Spot of bad weather’ at sea. 6 Le torchon brûle! It’s a ‘daggers-drawn’ situation! (Originally the expression referred exclusively to smouldering rows and dissensions within a marriage, but is now used more widely when referring to any state of violent disagreement.) torchonner v. trans. To ‘scamp’, to botch (a job or task). tordant adj. ‘Creasing’, ‘side-splitting’, hilarious. tord-boyaux n. m. ‘Rot-gut’, the kind of’hooch’ that is likely to make your hair curl because of its rough nature and strong alcohol content. tordre v. trans. reflex. (abbr. se tordre de rire): To split one’s sides laughing. C’est à se tordre de le voir allumer un mégot en plein vent! The sight of him lighting a fag-end against the breeze is enough to make you crease up with laughter! tordu n. m. 1 ‘Odd-bod’, ‘weirdo’, character with a warped sense of values. 2 ‘Pillock’, ‘burk’, imbecile. 3 ‘Nutter’, ‘nutcase’, mad character. 4 ‘Weed’, puny and insignificant person. tordu adj. (of person): 1 ‘Odd’, weird, strange. 2 Stupid, silly. (The insulting interjection ‘Va donc, eh tordu!’ relates only to this meaning of the adjective.) 3 ‘Bonkers’, ‘loony’, mad. 4 ‘Weedy’, puny. torgnole n. f. 1 Slap, open-handed blow in the face. 2 ‘Trouncing’, thrashing, severe beating. Il a pris une de ces torgnoles dans le ring! He got beaten blackand-blue against the ropes! torgnoler v. trans. 1 To slap in the face. 2 To ‘whip’, to ‘trounce’, to beat. torpille n. f. 1 ‘Sub’, cadged money. Marcher à la torpille: To go through life on borrowed money. 2 Torpille humaine (joc,): ‘Prick’, ‘cock’, penis. torpiller v. trans. 1 To ‘torpedo’, to attack scathingly a plan, project, proposition, etc. C’est toujours pareil, mes bonnes idées il les torpille d’autor! It’s always the same thing, all my good ideas get shot down in flames! 2 To ‘cadge’, to get a ‘sub’ out of someone. 3 Se faire torpiller: To ‘get conned out of some money’, to be the victim of a fraud. 4 To ‘screw’, to fuck, to have coition. torpilleur n. m. 1 Character whose greatest delight in life is to fire critical broadsides where projects, ‘good ideas’, etc. are concerned. 2 ‘Sponger’, ‘cadger’, near-professional borrower. 3 ‘Rep’, door-to-door salesman. torsif adj. ‘Rib-tickling’, ‘side-splitting’, hilarious. tortillard n. m. 1 ‘Puffer’, small rural train, the kind that stops at every station on the line. (This affectionate appellation probably stems from the meandering line of the tracks.) 2 Expresso coffee. (The connection between the puffing steamengine and the coffee percolator is apparent.) tortiller v. trans. Tortiller une lazane (also: une bafouille): To write a letter. tortiller v. intrans. 1 Tortiller du cul (of woman or effeminate homosexual): To walk with a wiggle, with an undulating hip-movement. 2 Il n’y a pas à tortiller

(du cul)! a There’s no denying it!—It’s got to be said! b There’s no getting out of it!—It has to be done! tortore n. f. ‘Grub’, ‘eats’, food. On s’est payé une tortore tout ce qu’il y a de meu-meu! We had ourselves a right super nosh! tortorer v. trans. & intrans. To eat. (The verb has pleasant connotations and is more often than not used in a context of plentiful and good food.) tôt adv. Ce n’est pas trop tôt! (iron.): And about time too!—And not before time! total n. m. (abbr. au total; adv.exp.): In short-To sum it all up. On a pris la mauvaise route, roulé quinze kilomètres, total on s’est perdus! We took the wrong turn, drove about ten miles and in a word-we was lost! totale n. f. Hysterectomy. On lui a fait une totale: She had it all taken away. toto n. m. 1 Nit, head-louse. 2 Jocular nickname used when addressing someone whose first name one does not know. Allez, Toto, ça va les affaires?! Well, chum, how’s tricks?! 3 Mon toto: My pet, my darling. totoche n. f. ‘Bean’, ‘bonce’, head. Totor Proper name. Jocular corruption of the forename Victor. toubib n. m. ‘Doc’, ‘medic’, doctor. (Richard Gordon’s novel DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE and the subsequent film were renamed in French Toubib or not toubib thus introducing the French masses to a Shakespearean pun!) touche n. f. 1 (pej.): Looks. Vise un peu cette touche! Have a butchers at that ugly mush! 2 ‘Drag’, share of a communal cigarette. (The word can be heard in circles where finances and circumstances make smoking a luxury, i.e. amongst schoolchildren, servicemen and prisoners.) 3 Avoir une touche avec quelqu’un: To have ‘clicked’ with someone (amorous context). Il a une méchante touche avec ta sœur! I think your sister fancies him something rotten! Essayer de faire une touche avec quelqu’un: To make a pass at someone. (The word is a direct borrowing from the jargon of the angler where the bobbing and momentary submersion of the float indicate more than passing interest on the part of a fish.) 4 Rester sur la touche (fig.): To be left out of things. 5 Botter quelqu’un en touche: To get rid of someone (literally to kick someone into touch. Both this expression and the preceding one stem from the language of rugby). 6 Se faire une touche: To ‘wank’, to masturbate. touché adj. ‘Touched’, ‘potty’, mad. Son frangin est un peu touché sur les bords! That brother of hers has a screw loose! touche-pipi n. m. Une partie de touche-pipi (joc.): Some ‘hanky-panky’, some sexy goings-on. toucher v. trans. 1 (of money): To ‘pocket’, to get, to receive. Il a touché un pacson quand on l’a viré de la boîte! He certainly got a golden handshake when they gave him the push at the firm! 2 Pas touche! (abbr. touche pas ça!): Keep your mitts off! —Don’t touch that! 3 Avoir l’air de nepas y toucher (also: ne pas avoir l’air d’y toucher): To ‘look as if butter would not melt in one’s mouth’, to be the picture of innocence. toucher v. intrans. Toucher à…(of age): To be ‘knocking on’…Il touche à la cinquantaine: He’s the wrong side of forty.