ABSTRACT

The Maternal Experience explores the powerful and dynamic nature of maternal ambivalence and disrupts the conventional narrative of the mother’s lived experience by arguing that encounters with feelings of hatred are both universal and have the capacity to stimulate and enrich her maternal love.

The book draws on the author’s personal mothering experiences, those of other women, and examples from film to inspire new introspection about the everyday maternal experience. Lowy takes a psychosocial approach to weave thinking from selected psychoanalytic and contemporary accounts together with personal stories to explore how maternal ambivalence operates, and how mothering is sourced in psychic struggles between loving and hating feelings in an atmosphere that is rife with social and personal expectations and prohibitions. By reworking the experience of maternal ambivalence, the book secures an understanding of the mother’s feelings of hatred as a catalyst for her love and allows these maligned and taboo emotions to be named and reframed into acceptable and transformative feelings.

Brought alive by examples from film and first-hand experience, this book is fascinating reading for academics and students of psychology, maternal and women’s studies, and sociology, as well as practitioners in the fields of psychology, social work, medicine and counselling.

chapter |2 pages

Preamble

The myth

chapter 1|14 pages

Opening

Lived experience, storytelling and maternal ambivalence

chapter 2|17 pages

What is Maternal Ambivalence?

Conflict, contradiction, confusion and the maternal ideal

chapter 3|18 pages

History of thought on Maternal Ambivalence

Locating the mother’s voice amid patriarchy, taboos and feelings of ambivalence

chapter 4|41 pages

Donald Winnicott’s Good-Enough Mother

Transformation through maternal love, failure, repair and moments of hatred

chapter 5|34 pages

Melanie Klein

There’s no love without hate: movement between the rigid paranoid-schizoid and the integrated depressive position

chapter 6|33 pages

Wilfred R. Bion

Learning from experience as a source of maternal change, understanding and wisdom

chapter 7|6 pages

Conclusions

The experience of maternal love and hate