ABSTRACT

Watching people protest, one hypothesis is that underlying these actions for specific justifiable causes is a sense of wishing to belong, of wishing not to be alone. Recent knowledge from patients and empirical research shows the importance of belonging to groups to both psychological and physical well-being. The problems of many students, minority group members, immigrants, terrorists, and lonely people are linked to an insufficient sense of belonging. Whereas psychoanalytic theory has focused on the need for a secure attachment to a primary caretaker, it has failed to note the importance of a sense of belonging to the family group, a friendship group, a community, a religious group, a nation-state, etc.

This book demonstrates the difficulties faced by those who immigrate, those who never feel a sense of their true selves as belonging in a family or a cohesive professional group, and the difficulties of psychoanalysts themselves in knowing where they belong in patients’ lives. The problems of breaking up marital and professional relationships as well as our relationship with the Earth are also discussed.

Freudian theory rejected the idea of a sense of "oneness" with humanity as being infantile. Recent developments regarding the similarities between meditational practices and psychoanalysis have questioned Freud’s idea. This book shows the importance of an interpersonal/relational psychoanalysis focusing on real relationships and not simply one that examines inner conflicts. It will be useful to psychologists, other mental health practitioners, social scientists, and anyone with normal struggles in life.

chapter 1|6 pages

Introduction

You are not alone

part 1|24 pages

Belonging and immigration

part 2|35 pages

Belonging and loneliness

chapter 5|12 pages

Loneliness and belonging

The contradictory typologies of Islamist terrorism

chapter 6|13 pages

The origins of terrorism

The obliteration of a sense of belonging

chapter 7|8 pages

The unbearable transience of belonging

An essay on Coppola’s Lost in Translation

part 3|50 pages

Groups, culture, and the environment

chapter 8|11 pages

Birnam Wood

chapter 9|10 pages

From attachment to detachment

The transformation of “belonging” in the kibbutz

chapter 10|6 pages

Belonging

The conundrums of interfaith marriage

chapter 11|11 pages

Secure uncoupling

A proposed theory of belonging after divorce

chapter 12|10 pages

Belonging to an awakening

The analytic function of witnessing applied to the climate crisis

part 4|22 pages

Belonging and mindfulness

part 5|33 pages

Belonging and self-organization

chapter 15|10 pages

(Not) belonging in one’s own skin

Stumbling into the space between obsessions

chapter 16|12 pages

Confusion of belongings

Ms. F in search of true belonging

part 6|36 pages

Belonging, the psychoanalyst, and the psychoanalytic process

part 7|11 pages

Conclusions

chapter 22|9 pages

Reflections, discussion, and conclusions

From primary attachment to an individual to belonging to a greater whole