ABSTRACT
The Healing the Self model teaches that in order for children to overcome angry, aggressive behavior brought on by a lack of self-esteem that comes from not having their needs met, they must have meaningful relationships with adults. The Healing the Self approach asserts that if that relationship is going to help a child heal from developmental gaps it must include idealization, empathy, and belonging. Idealization is a critical early ingredient for development of the self. A child must idealize and wish to mesh with their caregiver in order to develop a psychological core. Idealization is also seen in teenagers who may plaster their bedroom walls with posters of celebrities. The teenager may be longing to merge with an idealized other. Excessive idealization exercised by adults forecloses authentic relationships, effectively erecting walls of non-reality rather than bringing individuals closer. When adults idealize other adults it can be problematic for both.
