ABSTRACT
When children are abused or neglected by their parent, children can be afraid the abuser-parent will reject them if they would hold the parent responsible. During trauma processing children need to shift from feeling guilty and bad, to understanding they were innocent. By exploring the child’s negative cognitions and determining the child’s potential cognitive shift, a key message for the child can be prepared. The parent’s views on the child’s innocence are explored. Parents can acknowledge at different levels, ranging from taking responsibility for their actions, to acknowledging only the child’s innocence and minimizing the impact of trauma. Many parents have good intentions, unfortunately with disastrous consequences. Knowing that the parent did not mean to harm him, can help the child to put the responsibility with the parent. The parent’s views can be presented to the child in a joint session, a video message or letter. A trauma-healing story can be made to describe the parent’s views illustrated with pictures. This shared narrative contributes to the child’s healing and reconnects child and parent and it often leads to the parent’s own healing as well. Even when the child does not have contact with this parent, his views are valuable.
