ABSTRACT
This chapter examines an aspect of intimacy that is often neglected in psychoanalytic literature, i.e. the intimacy of friendliness. Beginning with the paradox of intimacy as an expression of innermost privacy and intimacy as a deep sharing, the author goes on to differentiate between friends, friendships and friendliness. Friendliness is seen as the basic, dynamic, psychological attitude that underlies friendships but can also be encountered in many other kinds of intimacy. The author argues that Freud’s view on friendship as “aim-inhibited sexuality” can be seen to be inaccurate once friendliness is understood from evolutionary, interpersonal and cultural perspectives.
