ABSTRACT
How often have we used the phrase ‘he/she is just at that stage’ to describe the response we have to a child’s behaviour, demeanour or attitude? How frequently is this negatively intentioned? Would we ever use the same phrase to a grown adult? Chances are, probably not. Many social development theories, curricula, and our culture’s underlying drive for measurement and assessment of children, rely on the use of identifying developmental stages. Children are born to be social, and communicating is one of the fundamental blocks of their innate potential. Unlocking that potential depends on many connected aspects. These are not stages but a series of skills, attributes and values that can be gathered along the way. Not gathering these elements can hinder a person’s life-long ability to function in relationships. Although every human is social, not everyone chooses to be sociable; social development is not a straightline journey to the holy grail of social graces. Language is the skill we use to convey an intended meaning effectively. It is the sister, daughter and mother of all relationships. It can be verbal and non-verbal, written, drawn, gestured or spoken. It is the symbolic representation of our thoughts for another person to experience and is central to our interactions with others. This book will uncover the myriad of ways in which we need to learn to speak, to listen and to respond to others in developing social competency and effective communication techniques and skills. A fundamental skill of the practitioner and the adults around them is the recognition of the need to respect individual children enough to give them choices and options about who they want to be, and to give them plenty of practice at it. When a child is practising at being cross, and is in a tantrum after being asked to share with others, it can be a challenge for both the child and adults alike. The adult, often painfully aware of the appropriate social rules not yet gathered by the child, can choose from a range of responses they have learned – maybe with boundaries for behaviour, belligerence or embarrassment. The child, however, is experiencing strong emotions and is unsure how to either manage or verbalise them. Learning to emotionally recover from the upset, as they comes to terms with the rules of what social skills are appropriate, is not just a developmental stage, but an important skill, as yet unlearned.
