ABSTRACT

I’m often asked about whether loss is different in different cultures. No. Loss is universal – heartbreak is heartbreak wherever and whoever you are. The human heart has no borders. Grief, however, is multicultural. For example, Eastern Orthodox Christians are expected to mourn their dead for up to 40 days after the funeral. Communities in many Islamic countries also practice a 40-day grieving period. In Judaism, the living sit shiva for a week to initially mourn their dead. Other days of remembrance are observed by some cultures. In Judaism, the anniversary of the death and the last day of the religious holiday Yom Kippur are reserved as days to remember loved ones. Whatever public face and ritual we have for coping with our loss and expressing our grief, heartbreak over losing someone we love hurts like hell because the dead aren’t coming back to us, ever. And, however much we want to go back to our old home, school and friends, we can’t because loss creates change and, learning to cope with that difference is what helps us to resolve the past and build our resilience.