ABSTRACT
The sustained erotic transference of a male patient in analysis with a woman analyst is discussed with reference to an earlier publication by the author: ‘Men who leave too soon’. The thesis is that when an erotic transference begins to intensify some male patients may leave their analysis abruptly, rather than continue and face the sexuality and violence that may accompany feelings of attachment. A very complicated set of actions reveals the intensity of this process in this case. Love and hate had been split off and when they emerged within the therapeutic relationship it was confusing as anger came to the fore. The interpretations offered showed understanding and acceptance of the violence of the anger; this seemed to help. The fear for a patient is that the analyst will be overwhelmed by the rage and that rejection will follow. If this can be spoken of there may be relief in being understood. Several sessions were missed and the boundaries of analysis now came into sharp focus. Contact was reinstated and, through a process of negotiation, the patient was encouraged to return. Having survived extremes of love and hate, the patient realises that having a feeling does not mean that acting on it is inevitable.
