ABSTRACT
It would be tedious were I minutely to describe our way of life, even after it had been somewhat diversified by the arrival of Captain Hamilton and his daughter. It was regular, peaceful, happy. The Captain, fond of narration, told his stories again and again. My mother, blessed with a spirit of activity, put every thing in order. My father, tranquil, industrious, but careless of trifles, saw with good-humoured indulgence the little errors of those around him, and was only stern when we any of us / infringed upon the laws of morality or the sentiments of honour. Yet he saw with alarm, in my character, strong symptoms of violence and inconsistency. He acted ever himself upon fixed principles: the duties of religion, and the dictates of a pure morality, were the objects of his reverence; and poverty with independence he would have far preferred to sharing with Sir Malcolm any part of his fortune upon conditions which he did not approve. He was proud even of his indigence, for he felt it the consequence of his disinterested rejection of offers made upon terms inconsistent with his principles. But, as he himself advanced towards old age, and saw his children growing around him to maturity, he / naturally became anxious for their future welfare, and in the care he bestowed upon our education, he shewed himself more ambitious for us than he had ever been for himself. My brothers and sisters, all in different degrees, made some return for this attention; but it was lost upon me. Wild and indocile, I struggled against discipline, and rejected instruction, preferring ignorance and liberty to accomplishments, rewards, and praise. Even my mother’s gentle admonitions could not control me; and my boyhood was passed away in idle musings, visionary projects, and entire neglect of useful study. Early, too, I learned to dazzle and confound my own understanding by indulging the wild / wanderings of fancy and yielding to the impulse of passion. Not only did I not see things as they were – but I saw them as they were not; with an impetuous and unreasoning mind exaggerating all things, and turning them by the force of my own imagination out of their real course.
