ABSTRACT
The aim of this chapter is to present a brief review the psychoanalytic theories of the aetiology of sadism and to extend the application of this understanding to psychotherapeutic work with the couple. I suggest that sadism is primarily an attack upon and defence against, what I will term “the dependent self” and that in couple work this particularly manifests when that attack is exacerbated by pairing with an uncontaining object. I illustrate this with two clinical case examples, one with a couple in which this particular feature of sadism, not entirely obvious in the current literature, emerged during our work together. In the second couple, I believe this phenomenon is equally applicable, albeit with an entirely different presentation. The therapeutic challenges of working with such couples are also considered.
