ABSTRACT
The grief experienced by parents of children with a disability has many features of other forms of grief. This chapter will combine a case study with discussion. Annie Cantwell-Bartl argues that the Dual Process Model of coping is a useful tool with this type of grieving, and parents oscillate between the two domains of grief work and restoration, but I will argue that this type of grief has some unique features. I will demonstrate that in the early years after the child’s injury, onset of severe illness, or initial diagnosis, there may be traumatic stress and there will be intense waves of grief, with an inadequate time for grief work, as parents focus upon care of the child and coping. They continue to re-experience waves of grief work. I will demonstrate that in spite of the emphasis upon restoration, healthy grief does manifest in time for most parents. Gradually the period between the waves of grief lengthen, but grief is always present. Losses are cumulative and mostly disenfranchised. The responses of the wider world are impactful. Parents need empathy, validation of their grief, and support. Most parents are resilient, and their love for their child and the development of the child reflect the vitality of the human spirit.
