ABSTRACT
Frequently, there are references to the adoption triad, which includes the birth parent(s), the child who is adopted, and the adoptive parent(s). In this chapter, focus is directed to the experience of the losses associated with birth mothers who relinquished a child through adoption. The fact that the adoption process involves a birth mother’s active choice in determining the course of events distinguishes this loss from death-related losses; however, the choice of the birth mother does not translate into a lack of grief. Many of these women live their lives with an undercurrent of grief and anxiety over the child that was relinquished, and experience feelings of ambiguity. Additionally, the experience of birth mothers who have chosen adoption for their child is often greatly misunderstood and socially disenfranchised. Thus, this chapter openly attends to the layers of grief birth mothers experience, in hopes that both professionals and those personally affected by adoption can acknowledge, validate, and value this experience and its losses. Ultimately, this chapter seeks to increase respect for the voice of these women in the adoption process and identifies therapeutic clinical implications which are founded upon attachment theory, disenfranchised grief, ambiguous loss, and other principles of grief counseling.
