ABSTRACT
A core concept sexually is to honor diversity and individual differences. “Sexually, one size never fits all”. In this chapter, we describe how to help people accept their “authentic sexual self” rather than have a “contingent sexual self-esteem”. Shameful sexual secrets are poison for the person and relationship. A large majority of couples (married, partnered, lesbian, and a significant number of gay men) have a traditional relationship. This involves prioritizing their primary relationship (a secure bond) and a commitment to emotional and sexual monogamy. However, some couples have non-traditional sexual values. This includes consensual non-monogamy, sexual friendship or lover relationships, and polyamorous relationships. The crucial issue is what fits the person and their relational and sexual values.
