ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author explores what it feels like for a couple coming into therapy; their unconscious phantasies as well as their more conscious fantasies about what couple psychotherapy is, and typical early transference and countertransference. She describes how the therapist's couple state of mind is part of establishing a couple analytic space which helps contain the couple in this early stage and is part of the therapist's internal setting. The author discusses the frame, that is in part the practical arrangements for the therapy, but which also carries meaning for the couple, both conscious and unconscious, as well as supporting the therapist in being able to do the work. There can be other anxieties too, especially for therapists who are newly qualified or still in training, about whether the couple will engage and stay. For couples who come for treatment, the gender of the therapist might feel a more real factor.
