ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the authors begin with the self. There are three interconnecting elements, self-esteem, self-confidence and self-knowledge. Self-confidence is conditional on the belief that the author can do things. There are ways to do so, which start from honest self-knowledge and acceptance. Growing self-knowledge will allow both to accept the realities of others and to forgive ourselves, hence building self-esteem and acceptance. The most live and effective self-knowledge comes from being really willing to notice our own behaviours and thought patterns and consider how we may work with, adapt or develop these. This is a continuous process with layer after layer of awareness and noticing. All our behaviour springs from our needs and self-care. The diagram opposite shows how the views of others impinge dangerously on the author's perception of self.
