ABSTRACT
I stared at the speck of mud trembling on the straw. I stared through the front flap at the clods of earth spouting up all round us. I stared at the dirty, strained face of my driver Allen—my strained face as I sat by me; at the boomerang that Allen sent me from Australia. I got out and hovered about six feet above us. I knew 'they' would . . . and saw trees as woods walking. How they walked—walk! walk! they went like arfs arfing. Arf arf together, arflng's the stuff for me, if it's not a Rolls Royce, which I'd pick out for choice. Then a nice little Ford bright and gay, and when they came to that ford, styx I say, Valiant for S'truth passed over and all the strumpets sounded for him on the uvver side. Cooh! What 'appened then? 'E talked a lot more about Jesus and dog and man and then 'e sez, all sudden like, Throw away the uvver crutch! Coo! Wot 'appened then? 'E fell on 'is arse. And 'is Arse wuz angry and said, Get off my arse! You've done nothing but throw shit at me all yore life and now you expects England to be my booty! Boo-ootiful soup; in a shell-hole in Flanders Fields. Legs and guts . . . must 'ave bin twenty men in there— Germ'um and frogslegs and all starts! We didn't 'alf arf I can tell 54you. Let bruvverly luv continue. No one asked 'im to fall-in! No one arsed 'im to come out either—come fourth, we said and E came 5th and 'e didn't ½ stink. Full stop! 'e said. The parson 'e did kum, 'e did qwat. 'E talked of Kingdom Come. King dumb come.
