Attachment therapy with couples: affect regulation and dysregulation in couple relationships; effective and ineffective responses to painful states by therapists and partners

This chapter explores the importance of effective care-giving within adult couple relations from the perspective of the theory introduced by D. Heard and B. Lake and the practice, attachment therapy by Heard, Lake, and U. McCluskey. Effective care-giving enables couples to regulate each other's emotional states. The chapter also explores the idea that effective care-giving is as important in adult relationships as it is in parent-infant relationships. It begins with a brief account of early development and the importance of accurate affect identification and attunement as a basis for security in self-other relations. The chapter looks at the ways in which early experience of misattunement and affect dysregulation permeates the way in which people seek and respond to care in early childhood and colours how they relate to intimate others in adult life. It provides an example of dysregulation within a couple relationship in the context of a consultation with a couple psychotherapist.