ABSTRACT
This chapter explains a cyclical pattern, which helps to think about with a diary to hand. Over the many years that the author have been in the therapy profession he have observed a cyclical pattern to grief. The chapter also explains about the three-monthly cycle of grief that the author have observed over his twenty years as a counsellor/therapist and that seemed to be a zizzag process, the lows being lower each quarter and the highs getting higher subsequently. In the early days of grief this is likely to focus more on the pain people are feeling at their loss. However, as time goes on people become more able to remember lovingly without the searing pain. It is usual for people to carry on routinely with activities that they have undertaken over years, but which are no longer appropriate. For example, laying the table for the person who is no longer part of the family circle.
