ABSTRACT
The medical school started in 1973, and the author began studying in 1974. In the beginning Tom Andersen was a bit frightening—the author did not always understand why he laughed, and probably she did not always understand what he meant either. His respectful and open way of listening to all kinds of people was an eye-opener. He was the author's tutor when doing her Hovedoppgave—her “main project” or thesis—the last year of her studies. The author wanted to do something that involved her as a person and affected her emotionally and prepared her as a doctor to deal with separation and death. She asked Tom to help her do this. He presented her with a 57-year-old, divorced woman with pancreatic cancer who had four young sons. She gave the project the title “After All, What More Can You Do About Grief Than Respect It” which was a quotation from the Marilyn French novel The Women’s Room.
