ABSTRACT
The role of the mother in creating within her child a capacity to manage difficult affect and tolerate frustration is linked with the development of an internal-object world and a sense of self. The ability of the mother to identify her child's affective states and to respond with empathy to his feelings provides a containing function that allows for a process of giving and being which in turn influences the child's capacity for patience and a sense of security. While there are elements of repression and split-off emotions in her observable interactions, mother's love for the boys, her patience, and her tolerance of frustration make family life a good experience for them. The story of mothers' abandonment at 12 months by her birth mother, which was followed by her successful adoption, may offer an explanation as to why she can manage the vicissitudes of being a mother herself.
