ABSTRACT
A transition ritual changes discordant interaction patterns by replacing them with new and qualitatively different ones. Without the aid of a ritual act, emotions may get out of hand. Hate keeps one captive and it devours energy. Besides, rituals of revenge stem the tide of anger and put it into perspective. They can serve as a transition towards possible forgiveness and a new start, or a possible divorce. To take revenge in a ritualized manner where the therapist bears witness and gives acknowledgement, can stem the destructive flow without the couple returning to the downward spiral of violence. A poor self-image appears to be a motive to use violence within an argumentative situation. Shame acts as a defender of a diminished cohesive self-image. Men are more ashamed about social standing, while women are more ashamed when it comes to attachments.
