ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author argues that her email messages had been an ethereal intrusion into the therapy, used to turn her into an unreachable, insubstantial mother, a mother who could not be a transformational object. Julie was the second child born to a depressed mother and sentimental but violent father in the East End. The family struggled financially. She remembered a “loving” mother, albeit one who did not hold her or delight in her. Human contact was problematic for Julie. She felt ashamed about her clinging, demanding, needy behaviour that was evident in many relationships. During the first months of cancer treatment, Julie was in shock, fear, and pain, and often nauseous from chemotherapy. She turned again to Internet chat rooms for comfort, contacting spiritualists to give her guidance, and Christian Scientists, who prayed for her. Julie seemed to live in a world of ghosts. She described paranormal experiences and the sense of a “presence” near her at times.
