ABSTRACT
Due to the culturally loaded nature of sexuality, it is particularly important to emphasize that case material is sensitive, especially so when countertransferential feelings are involved. Bowlby's writing on anger and aggression situated these feelings in the context of a person's emotional response to experiences of loss or separation, a rupture in their attachment relationships. In histories characterized by unrepaired losses, people found adults suffering loneliness and isolation, anxious/insecure attachments where conflicted longings for closeness can lead to needs for bodily affect regulation, such as masturbation, to calm and soothe. Boys are pressured/forced to move into a relational vacuum leading to a tendency towards avoidant attachment, making for a tendency towards relationless sexuality in adult life. Men tend to be pleasure seeking in their sexual relationships as a consequence of the deterioration of object relationships in their boyhood. Being wrong is a good thing.
