ABSTRACT
Controversy surrounds the image of tenderness in psychoanalysis. This conflict has persisted from the time of Sigmund Freud and Ferenczi through to modern theorists and clinicians. This chapter explains races the controversy from its origin in the Freud–Ferenczi conflict and explores tenderness as a necessary therapeutic agent. Case material is used to illustrate the powerful therapeutic action of tenderness. Drawing on the martial arts, the chapter suggests a framework for the clinical use of tenderness in psychoanalysis. A prerequisite for the analyst’s experience of tenderness is that the analyst has achieved an inner assurance that allows for participation in a deeply felt relationship. Tenderness or softness is most likely to be helpful in the analysis of patients who are cognitive and rational, aggressive and controlling. The analyst who is able to move in close with tenderness or gentleness will be able to bring the analysand into areas of painful affect that would otherwise be resisted.
