ABSTRACT
Equally important to mourning losses, however, is the mourning of the grief of regret related to failures in commitment. The full conscious experience of one's regret concerning shortcomings in commitment can actually become the turning point of a marriage. Sarah became able to see beyond herself and the narcissistic hungers that had led her into an extramarital affair to the depths of love and caring in her husband that nurtured her more genuinely, and for a lifetime, than any kind of love she could receive outside of the marriage. Sarah would imagine how much more grateful that man would be for having a woman like her: so sharp, articulate, creative, and full of self-expression. Sarah's continuing obsessive thoughts about merging with some male other, outside the solid known reality of her world with Dan, was constantly haunting her. Sarah's feelings of regret towards Dan were so powerful that she would almost feel scooped out inside and disembowelled by them.
